February 9, 2009

Birthday party

Posted in Uncategorized at 16:48 0 by gillsmoke

There are fewer places more dangerous than a child’s birthday party. I don’t have an anxiety disorder but the social pitfalls are many. I’m pretty sure I was being looked at with apprehension as I made my notes.

No really, I am just that antisocial. It’s not that I don’t like people, I’m just not sure about these school parents. That group over there, I’m pretty sure they are all cheating on their husbands. It’s in the eyes, look for it. That group there, I’m pretty sure my wife has offended all of them by her mere existence. OK, I’ll just sit here not looking menacing. Hard to do with a scruffy beard.

Here’s a couple of other notes:

A bithday party is not supposed to be that late, they are afternoon affairs. Cake at (either) 8 is just bad form.

Oh, look I’m the only solo dad again, I will say there are more dads here than at any other public party I have been to in a long while.

What is that older kid doing here, his slightly annoying younger brother is also too old to have been invited.

Sorry to be rude, but I’m just trying to get out of here before embarrassing my family.

Little girl’s shirts should never have 2 round things on the front, the two penguin holding hands sort of look bad at 25 feet. Even the heart’s eyes are a little misleading.

In a similar vein, I swear I am not going to hurt your kids. A beard doesn’t make me a molester.

And finally, Thank you for the opportunity to let my kid run around for an hour straight. I think that might relieve some of the built up Cabin fever.

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