July 24, 2009

La Guitarra

Posted in Uncategorized at 20:52 0 by gillsmoke

So’s I said to her, “you can’t let an awful meal at Denny’s be my only dining this trip”

She replied, “Well mi novio (boyfriend) misses La Guitarra”

“Ok what does he like there?”

“Fritas Carne y mofongos”

“I’ll try it and let you know.”

Be careful if you’re coming from the north, there’s a couple of strong jungle turns then there it is. Like most local restaurants, it’s a bar and most of the locals were drinking Medallas and bullshitting. Pictures covered the walls everything from painted portraits to wooden machettes with designs from the Machttedores (Independence fighters) and 2 posters for Grito de Lares (Peurto Rician independence movement from the town Lares), if there’s a documentary I wanna see it. It isn’t air conditioned but the high ceilings and ample breeze made it seem cooler than it was. The smells from the kitchen were wonderful full of spice and sizzles. The drinks came in bottles and cans with a cup of ice so no refils. While I was there nobody else stayed to eat but there were a couple of to go orders and I really wonder what they got.

Mofongos are boiled mashed plantains I asked and it is supposed to be the consistency of lumpy mashed potatoes, and garlicky and the sauce over it was quite delicate. The lettuce and tomato looked like they belonged on a sandwich and needed to be eaten while they were still cool for by the end of my meal the remaining lettuce was wilted on my plate. There were 2 thimble sized sauce cups one was catchup and the other was what I assume to be a seasoned mayonnaise, they were for the fried pork and onion. If that’s the way it is supposed to taste I don’t want it cooked wrong. It was very salty and slightly sweet. the onions were perfectly cook but left oily snail trails across my 70’s beige Tupperware plate. I’m glad I ordered what I did but I probably should of had the Churasco (skirt steak).

I wrote this at Ponderosa having the bad meal I was supposed to have, the Highlights include metallic mac and cheez, dried out fried products, including two new on me corn nuggets (battered creamed corn) and sorullitos (I think heart of palm) that tasted corny too. The only soup choice was beans. One trip to the side bar and soft serve better left, so I did. Hey don’t push me out now I still have a couple of things to write to my only fan. Hey, where’s my computer cord? Damn it! Not again.

July 22, 2009

Fasting? WTF

Posted in life, Random, Uncategorized at 22:02 0 by gillsmoke

Well here’s the story on that. I got up extra early to get to the airport early enough to get through the security line. Pittsburgh Monday Morning plan on two hours just to get through security. My flight was 7:25 I was at the airport at 6:00 good but not great. Oh my flight was delayed till 8am. OK. I got bumped to first class on my new connecting flight, cool. I ended up passing out on the short flight to Charlotte and again the long flight to PR. I have a headache but I figure that’s just from no caffeine, but it makes it so I’m not at all that hungry. when I pick up my car it has GPS, cool San Juan to Ponce please and let’s get there by the shortest route. Ouch, I never get motion sickness. I got about half way on the constant switchbacks and had to pull over to puke. But wait I haven’t eaten so it’s just water and bile. I stop a couple more times to keep from puking and when I get to Coamo (hey there’s the plant) I stop at the Walgreens to get some Pepto and a fruit punch to wash away the bile and down the bismuth. by the time I got to the hotel it’s 8pm and all I want is to get some sleep.

I oversleep and the plant is about an hour from the hotel I’m at, it’s hot and muggy and I’m not hungry. The thought occurs to me, “It’s not a fast until three days.” I forget where I got that little gem at but since I’m not hungry and I’m on my way let’s see if we can. When I got back to the hotel that night I looked for places to eat and nothing seemed appealing. So today I said, “3 days that’s a fast, I need to eat. I should eat. I better eat.” I asked for a place that was open late who suggested Ponderosa which was closed and ended up at Denny’s which was open. Enough said I’ve already told that story.

The lady I’m working with said today as we were leaving, “You making me feel bad. the cafeteria is over there, across the street is ice cream and there’s coffee around the corner, and Burger King is up the road.” Don’t feel bad Ms. Rivera Reyes my wife can tell you I just get like that sometimes, stubborn and strange. but maybe we can do lunch tomorrow.

A reason to resume blogging

Posted in life, review, Uncategorized tagged at 21:29 0 by gillsmoke

I’ve had an Idea for a review site for a while. Something anonymous where people could send me a review. I edit it or just approve it and onto the site it goes. This is a review of the kind I would want to receive.

Hey Denny’s in Ponce PR, I know the ugly gringo tried to order in Ingles but that’s no reason to burn my food. The picture held such promise, but my Sizzling Chicken Platter was a charred pile of burnt Fail. What makes it most insulting was it was my first meal in three days. (I think that story is the next post.) My meal was awful but I ate it anyway, partly because I don’t know how to complain in Espanol, but mostly because I kept figuring I had to eat something, 3 days makes a fast, before that you’re just stalling. And by the way even the coffee was burnt. I rate this one of the worst dinners in my adult life. It’s up there with the “American Style” Restaurant in China, which is best summarized as, “Whoa buddy that wasn’t a cow steak that was shoe leather or dog and I’d rather not know which”.